Miss Congeniality Quotes

Miss Rhode Island: Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store. My mom wouldn't buy them for me. She said they were Satan's panties!

Gracie Hart: You think I'm gorgeous. You want to kiss me.

You want to hug me. You want to love me. You want to hug me.

You want to smooch me. You want to.

Gracie Hart: It's lite beer and she's gonna throw it up anyway.

Miss Rhode Island: That's a tough one.

I would have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket.

Gracie Hart: I am in a dress, I have gel in my hair, I haven't slept all night. I'm starved, AND I'm armed! Don't MESS with me!

Kathy Morningside: Of course he had a gun.

This is Texas! Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!

Victor Melling: Smilers wear a crown, losers wear a frown.

Victor Melling: I'm sorry. What was the question? I was distracted by the half-masticated cow rolling around in your wide-open trap.

Miss New York: I just want to let all the lesbians out there know if I can make the top ten, so can you!

Gracie Hart: And if anyone, anyone tries to hurt one of my new friends, I would take them out. I would make them suffer so much that they'd wish they were never born.

And if they ran, I would hunt them down. Thank you, Kathy.

Gracie Hart: I know I am going to miss the heels because they do something

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By: Stephanie Molnar

Humor

Ebony and Greenery - Bell had followed him home.

Restaurant Manager Gives Out Sexual Favors As Performance Bonus Raise - While many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of an imminent job-related performance review, employees at Applebee's in Westland have adopted an entirely different attitude toward the employment evaluation process.

No More Oreos Tell Me it isnt True - Another good citizen comes to the aid of the uninformed public.

How To Have An Argument With Yourself And Win - Throughout the years, I'm happy to report, I have learned a thing or two about myself.

Im Not A Christian But I Play One On Sunday - After more than three decades of church ministry, I have come to one unsettling conclusion.

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