On Switch Off Switch

I don't like being mentally ill because it means that sometimes my mind can't understand things as well as healthy minds. I know that I am inferior to the big Incorporated Corporated Conglomerated Companies who are successful and whose minds are not ill. Personally, I don't think of myself as being mentally ill, but rather I have a brain that has a mild cold or is allergic to normalcy.I own electrical appliances. I have two Ethernet routers that don't have switches to turn them on or off.

I have an amplified antenna for my television that plugs into an outlet, but it doesn't have an on or off switch. I have a DVD player that has a low power/standby mode, but while in that mode, a small light is displayed. When I hit eject, insert a DVD, and play it, that light goes off. I have an external zip drive that may have a switch, but if it does, it's shunted onto another dimensional plane and inaccessible to me.I have a scanner that gets its power solely through a USB cable, and I will go to my grave trying to figure out how that is even possible.

It doesn't bother me otherwise, because it appears not to use any electricity, nor does it require an on/off switch.When did appliance manufacturers stop installing on/off switches into electrical devices? I would whisper the word, "conspiracy" if not for the listening devices strategically located throughout my home, planted by the FBI. My only consolation is that the bugs planted by the CIA often cause interference with the bugs planted by the FBI. I found one of these bugs two days ago, but it didn't have an on/off switch, and it really made me mad. I had to see my anger management counselor.

He sent me to my therapist so I could cope with feelings of loss and abandonment caused by the lack of on/off switches in my life.Is it possible that the company I get my electricity from has made secret deals with companies that manufacture electrical equipment? I like to think that anything is possible, because I'm a very optimistic person. If I weren't mentally ill, I would probably be much more accepting of society, and stop grieving over the loss of my beloved on/off switches. I would trust that there are no conspiracies, because if I believe in conspiracies, that makes me a paranoid mentally ill person. It's true that there have been conspiracy theories proven, but if I believe in ones that don't exist -- or are not proven yet -- then I need to start taking medication so I won't be so very mentally ill and paranoid.I have to go now; Oliver Stone is waiting for my call.

I don't have an on/off switch on my cordless phone charger, so I need to plug it back in; my other phone might stop working and I'll want to be sure my cordless is fully charged if that happens.

By: Andy Alt