Poor Rixs Almanac

Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food? ? Former Student.Poor Rix ate lunch at a school last week, and really liked it. Who knew they could make a dessert out of corn chips?.Fact is, Poor Rix enjoyed everything about school, except for the "study" part.

Lunch period was best the part of all.One day I saw a dish labeled "Tuna Surprise." "Why do you call it that?" I asked.

"Because," said the cook, "we started out with a catfish. So if it tastes like a tuna, we'll be surprised.".Yeah, lunch was a scream back then.

One time my friend Carl found two well-seasoned cockroaches in his green beans, and asked who'd be willing to eat them."I will," said Dave, who was once elected class president by promising "no homework anymore." But he didn't clear this with the teachers, so we immediately impeached him.

Anyway, Dave downed both roaches, and bragged they tasted better than the beans. But he didn't come to class the next day.Another time we took a field trip to a neighboring school.

At lunch, Carl chose the "mystery meat."."Outstanding," he raved. "What is it?"."Here's a clue," said our host. "Why do you think our team's called the Buzzards?".

.Poor Rix offers bad advice to good questions. E-mail him at rixquinn@charter.net.Rix's book "Words That Stick" is available at http://www.

amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1580085768/qid/.

By: Rix Quinn

Humor

Ebony and Greenery - Bell had followed him home.

Restaurant Manager Gives Out Sexual Favors As Performance Bonus Raise - While many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of an imminent job-related performance review, employees at Applebee's in Westland have adopted an entirely different attitude toward the employment evaluation process.

No More Oreos Tell Me it isnt True - Another good citizen comes to the aid of the uninformed public.

How To Have An Argument With Yourself And Win - Throughout the years, I'm happy to report, I have learned a thing or two about myself.

Im Not A Christian But I Play One On Sunday - After more than three decades of church ministry, I have come to one unsettling conclusion.

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